In Dublin's fair city,
Where girls are so pretty,
My Molly stands out
'cause she weighs 18 stone.
(That's 256 pounds.)
I dont mind her
fat--but,
It's not only that--but,
She's cockeyed and muscle-bound, Molly
Malone.
[parody of "Auld Lang Syne"]
I know a man, his name is
Lang,
And he has a neon sign.
And Mister Lang is very old,
So they call
it Old Lang's Sign.
[parody of "Billy Boy"]
Oh what have you done, Billy Sol, Billy
Sol.
Oh what have you done, charming Billy.
You took almost every
cent
From the U.S. Government,
Which you spent on fertilizer, which is
silly.
[parody of "Marianne" by Terry Gilkyson & The Easy
Riders]
All day, all night, Cary Grant.
That's all I hear from my
wife, is Cary Grant.
What can he do that I can't?
Big deal, big star, Cary
Grant.
[parody of "On The Banks Of The Wabash" by George J. Gaskin]
Oh
the moon is bright tonight upon the car wash.
So I'm having my Volkswagen
washed again.
But the way things go with me, the way my luck is,
Just as
soon as they're finished, it will rain.
[parody of "On Top Of Old Smokey" by The Weavers]
On top of Old
Smokey,
All covered with hair,
Of course I'm referring
To Smokey The
Bear.
[parody of "Aura Lee"]
Every time you take vaccine,
Take it
orally.
As you know the other way
Is more painfully.
[parody of "Grandfather's Clock" by The Haydn Quartet]
My
grandfather's clock was the best ever made
By the Timex company.
Just like
the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed
Last night on the old TV.
Oh it works under water so perfectly,
And still makes a ticking
sound.
Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon,
And that's how the
old man drowned.
[parody of "Comin' Thro' The Rye" by Nellie Melba]
Do not make a
stingy sandwich.
Pile the cold cuts high.
Customers should see
salami
Coming through the rye.
[parody of Stephen Foster's "Polly Wolly Doodle"]
Oh I diet all
day and I diet all night,
It's enough to drive me bats.
Got no gravy or
potatoes,
'Cause the whole refrigerator's
Fulla polyunsaturated fats.
Fare thee well, Metrecal,
And the others of that ilk.
Let the diet
start tomorrow,
'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow
In a double malted milk.
[parody of "Down By The Riverside"]
When you go to the
delicatessen store,
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the
liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
I repeat what I just said
before,
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Oh buy the corned beef if you must,
The pickled herring you can
trust,
And the lox puts you in orbit AOK.
But that big hunk of
liverwurst
Has been there since October First,
And today is the
Twenty-Third of May.
So when you go to the delicatessen store,
Don't buy the
liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
It'll
make your insides awful sore.
Don't buy the liverwurst.
Don't buy the
liverwurst.
Return to "My Son, The Box" -- The Allan Sherman CD Box Set
Return to CampGranada.com -- The Official Allan Sherman Website