Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim-chim-cheree;
Those are three words that
don't make sense to me.
But I'm used to words that don't make sense to
me,
From all those commercials I see on TV.
When I see an ad that can't be
understood
I know that the product has got to be good;
Those words may be
crazy, but I think they're great,
Like sodium acetylsalicylate.
(Sodium
acetylsalicylate!)
I wake up each morning a most happy man,
I cover my Pic-O-Pay with
Fluoristan;
I add Hexachlorophene, 'cause it's so pure,
And then GL-70,
just to make sure.
Then I take a shower, but never alone;
I'm in there
with Dermasil and Silicone.
I brush Vitrol-D on my Lanolin wave,
And I
sharpen my Boo-boop, and use it to shave!
(He sharpens his Boo-boop, and
that's how he shaves!)
There's Tufsyn, and Retsyn, and Acrylan too,
And Marfac and Melmac and
what else is new?
There's Orlon and Korlan, and there's Accutron,
And
Teflon, and Ban-Lon, and so on and on.
These wonderful words spin around in
my brain;
Each one is a mystery I cannot explain.
Like what does that Blue
Magic whitener do --
Does it make blue things white, or make white things
blue?
(His blue things are white, and his white things are blue!)
My Fastback has Wide-Track and Autronic Eye,
Which winks when a cute
little Volvo goes by;
My tank full of Platformate starts with a roar,
But
when I try to stop, it goes two miles more.
I measure my breathing with my
Nasograph,
It's nice, but oh my, how it hurts when I laugh.
My chair is
upholstered in real Naugahyde;
When they killed that nauga, I sat down and
cried.
(He moved to Chicaga when that nauga died!)
I'm giving a party next Saturday night
And here are the friends that I'm
going to invite:
The giant who lives in my washing machine,
That other
nice giant, who's jolly and green.
The tiger who causes my gas tank to
flood,
That handsome white knight who is stronger than crud;
The man with
the eyepatch, who sells me my shirts
And that nut who flies into the front
seat for Hertz!
(That daring young nut who goes flying for Hertz!)
I've lived all my life in this weird wonderland;
I keep buying things that
I don't understand,
'Cause they promise me miracles, magic, and hope,
But,
somehow, it always turns out to be soap.
And they might as well be
Chim-Chiminey Cheree!
(Those words all could be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!)
Return to "My Son, The Box" -- The Allan Sherman CD Box Set
Return to CampGranada.com -- The Official Allan Sherman Website